I’m Late

Okay, that didn’t come out right.

What I meant is I’m literally late, tardy, not there (anywhere) on time … ALL THE TIME.

The only thing consistent about me is the fact that I will never be where you’ve asked or expected me to be at the time you tell me to be there… Heck, probably not even at the time I tell you I’ll be there.

Weddings, work, dinner date, movie, even a night in… I WON’T BE THERE ON TIME.

Bridal shower is at 1? Oh, that’s great… Except for it’s the bridal shower at MY house that I’m throwing for MY best friend… & I’m still rolling in around 1:30 (& that’s only if I’m rushing).

This is by far one of my absolute worst qualities. I’ve tried working on it. I set more alarms than a prison in full lockdown. I use entire sticky note pads as reminders for one event. I set alert after alert in my phone. Try to prepare the night before. Plan my time accordingly so I can leave my house (or wherever I am) & arrive at the destination at the proper time.

No. No. NO.

It doesn’t work (cause I’m difficult).

So I feel like I should simply apologize. Not for being late (cause I’ve probably already done that several times & I will do it again, several times) but for that little sense of anger/annoyance/agitation that I continually never fail to cause to erupt inside of you…

All I ask is:

To my past, present & future employers… I will rock your world with my crazy (unique) & free-spirited work ethic… & I will piss you off with my lateness. Please keep me around, I’m worth it! In reality, it’s just less time you have to pay me for… So, you’re welcome. 

& all you others, at the end of the day… Please remember you DO love me, hence why you asked to spend time with me in the first place BEFORE my “tardy texts” got out of hand.