Double Texting

(PSA: Entirely written from a female-perspective since I’ve never been a male, yet have gathered they don’t always think as into things as most of us tend do… Or so I’ve experienced.)

 

You know what makes me laugh?

 
Dating.

I’m not talking about relationships… More so the stage before a relationship where you’re flirting with some cutie at the bar & swap numbers. & that’s the moment all the questions start popping in your head.
“Was he really as interested in me as he seemed?” “Should I text him first?” “Should I wait to get in touch with him?”
…”I bet he gives everyone his number.”
Anywho, you start chatting, things seem great, days worth of these easy back-and-forth convos… & then it happens…

HE. DOESN’T. RESPOND.

Great. So now you feel you’ve “lost” him (though in reality, you never really HAD him… Yet, at least).

 

You debate with yourself. “Do I double text? Do I let it go? Will he be in touch? If he doesn’t get in touch by 10PM tonight, should I reach out? But will I look desperate?!” You ask your friends, your mama, your sister, your friend’s second cousin’s former step brother’s girlfriend…

Honestly (& thankfully), I think I’ve only experienced anxiety about a guy not texting me back once, maybe twice, when I was like 16. Other than that, I’ve just always been around friends & randoms who’ve talked about it. But I DO remember the feeling.

 

 

(Looking back, I probably SHOULD have cared… Just a tiny bit more, at least. I’m absolutely sure I annoyed guys in the past [I’m guilty of having a hard time getting all my thoughts out in one text. Sometimes my wittiness decides to show itself 5 seconds post-initial text… & I just HAVE to say it cause I don’t know when I’ll be funny again]… But they annoyed me too by not responding! On the flip side, there were also several times when I was the one who didn’t respond. Early on, a double text is okay, but don’t quadruple it. That really is annoying. Calm yourself. I’ll respond… But maybe a little slower now since my phone won’t stop dinging & flashing your name… MOVING ON)…

Once you’re in a relationship, it’s a different story (especially when you’re approx. 4-6 months in). You’re feeling pretty secure, life is good, you’re super close to your S.O.

 
Being in an exclusive relationship gives you all the power in the world to double text, triple text, quadruple text, ETC!

If I’m chatting with my man & he stops responding (usually he’s either: working, sleeping, cooking, playing video games, hanging out with friends/family or showering—cause he’s obsessed with long showers, bless him)… I will text him 10 times, I don’t even care. What’s he gonna do? LEAVE me? Over the occasional excessive text?! Ha! HE LOVES ME. I can do whatever I want!!!!! –> (within reason) <—

& THAT, my friends, is power.

 

& sometimes my back-to-back texts to him won’t even be in regards to the same things. 😏

 

Again, flip side… I’m not clutching my phone in hopes he’ll promptly return my text & being anxiety ridden until he does, thinking of all the “stupid” things I just sent him. 84% of our conversations are stupid, I’m not really trying to “woo” him anymore… Doesn’t mean I don’t try to make sure our love stays strong, just that he knows & loves me enough to not leave me cause I send him two text messages in a row. I can’t help that when something funny or amazing happens, HE IS THE ONE I WANT TO TELL.

 

The beauty of relationships, people. Freedom of speech in abundance.

 

(I have ZERO advice in this post. Just really acknowledging the fact that if something were to ever happen & my fella & I split… I’d be screwed in the dating pool cause I have ZERO self control when it comes to holding back & strategically timed/spaced texts & conversations.)
Amen.

WOW.

BIG realization about the generation of “baby boomers”.

They’re so quick to bash the younger generations… While in reality, we are the ones who grew up with technology, we don’t know a world without it … Which naturally gives us the upper hand in the working world. They wonder why we aren’t freaking out as they are & assume it’s cause we’re not working as hard , but really, we’re just better at multitasking & don’t get overwhelmed as easily… So we’re able to get more done… Resulting in a less stressful environment.

We are the generation(s) that SEEK out answers. We have Google & YouTube at our fingertips & know how to use em (& have no problem using these resources)… That doesn’t mean we aren’t efficient, if anything, we are MORE efficient.

We often hear we have no work ethic, that we’re lazy… Nah, we’re just capable of juggling more than you. Stop being afraid to give credit where it’s due in fear of it making you look bad… Cause us “young people” are going to be the ones to take your jobs & make them more advanced… Cause that’s what it’s all about anyway, right? So we’re right on track… (: Please do not be upset or offended. PROGRESS IS ALWAYS A GOOD THING.

(NOTE: This isn’t ALL of the younger generations [believe me, I’m not naive… I DO know plenty of lazy people/people expecting things to be handed to them]… & it’s not all of the baby boomers [FOR EXAMPLE: Anyone who has ever met my dad, you’ll know that man is one of the hardest working guys I have EVER met in my entire life… & he’s resilient], just many of the ones I’ve ever come across & heard about…)

What Image Are You Really Portraying?

Today, my brother’s & I were discussing dating/relationships in general in this day in age.


We were talking about how shallow many relationships have become. How people are jumping into matrimony with no sense of “team”, selflessness, humbleness, or true meaning of sacrifice that a marriage requires.


Last but not least, we were talking about how “stupid” girls have become.


(Now, before I continue, we are well aware there are many immature guys out there with little-to-no self control, nor true respect for women.)


I was telling them how I’ve heard several times from ladies how they’re “so done” cause of the way “he” treated them. Yet, that very girl slept with him repetitively since the first week & never consistently gave him anything to respect.


Again, I’m not condoning the male behavior, but I am saying that I am well aware of how easy girls have become.


We want attention & will do anything to get it.  We are so thrilled to get him looking our way that any hint of interest from the male species keeps us hanging on, even if it’s negative attention & an unhealthy situation.



Now, this is my stance on the topic. I was curious for the male perspective to see if guys could genuinely like & respect a female who throws herself at them/”plays games”/waits on them hand & foot/is so willing to wait around on them to be “ready” to jump into a committed relationship but will sleep with them in the meantime cause, you know, he really likes you & all… 😏

Their response: “A lot of our guy friends have said how dumb & easy girls have become these days.”

They went on to explain how guys are well-aware of the crazy crap girls pull & how even when they say they’re “done” & “leaving”… That they’ll be back.

So, ladies… You havta give people something to respect. Wanna know why most guys are “douche bags” & get away with it? CAUSE GIRL’S STILL GO FOR THEM & don’t mind being treated a certain way cause they get the guy.

Guys don’t have to be gentlemen anymore cause the female population (not all, just most) will still fall for them. Look for the one who is a gentleman & treats you like a queen cause he wants to & (to a degree) HAS to cause you demand that kind of respect & loyalty. Stay classy.

Don’t give it all up, walk away & then come right back to him & keep wondering why he doesn’t wanna commit to you.

Is it him treating you like crap? Or you allowing him to treat you like crap?

HELLO.

Think on it.

Decoding

We all do it. We all have that someone or those someone’s who make us question if we’re ever gonna be together. Feelings are always one-sided, occasionally reciprocated just enough to keep you hanging on.

Guess what.

If someone wanted to be with you, they would be.

They’d do everything in their power to take you off the market… To make sure you were theirs & nobody else’s. To claim you by saying “he/she is mine“.

While, yes, there are some circumstances where someone who desperately wants you can’t be with you right now, but that’s so rare.

Guess what again.

It’s not you. It’s not them either, but most importantly you cannot blame yourself or criticize who you are simply because someone YOU were interested in wasn’t interested in you enough to take a shot on you. Their loss? Maybe. Your gain? Definitely. You should really be thanking them for not making you unavailable for someone who truly gives a damn about you, all you are & all you have to offer.

Let me reiterate something we’re often told, don’t you dare change for anyone… What would the point of that be? You’re who you are for a reason. Every experience, every decision, every moment, good & bad, has molded you… Has turned you into somebodies perfect somebody.

The key is to be confident in who you are. So what you don’t “fit” with a certain somebody? Doesn’t mean you won’t fit with anybody. It’s gonna hurt, so let it hurt… Then let it go & keep moving on. Cause life does that… It keeps moving (which is a scary, yet slightly comforting thing) no matter what the situation is, no matter how brokenhearted you are.

So next time you’re doubting whether or not there’s someone for you cause the person who had been tugging at your heart strings isn’t pulling them all the way… Remember to take a step back, reevaluate your situation (no emotions involved so you get the clear picture) & see it for all it’s worth.

Know that what you have to offer, someone else is accepting… Someone out there is looking for what you’re putting on the table… Don’t keep scraping your pockets in hopes of pulling out something that’ll catch a “potentials” eye…

 

It’s okay to fight for someone… If only they’d fight for you too.

 

& in reality… Anyone who wants to willingly stay or genuinely be with you won’t have to be fought for. They’ll be there cause they want to be.

 

I Hate Venting,

but need to for just a minute (; …

 

It’s so common for people to constantly be searching & jumping into relationships with the mentality that every one has the potential to be your next “ONE”. While this isn’t a horrible mindset, my question is… Why? What’s the point of rushing this part of your life? As the saying goes, “you can’t be happy with anyone til you’re happy with yourself“… That doesn’t mean that once you’re happy with yourself to go searching… Just means when the time comes, you’ll be ready.

When people are constantly searching, all it says is they don’t feel complete without somebody… As if to say, “I’m using YOU to fill this void I have & if you don’t fill it for me, I’ll move on to the next one I find who can patch me up a little better…” Personally, I don’t believe that’s how “love”, or even dating, was intended to be.

For some reason, many friends/people come to me for relationship advice (probably partially cause I’m blunt–oops), and I think it’s cause I’m honest with them about how ridiculous some of their situations are. Settling should never be an option. “Hooking up” is not a way of life. Constantly searching & consuming yourself with finding a significant other only takes away from living YOUR life to the fullest. & I strongly believe that.

Some people say they know from the minute they met their spouse/significant other/etc that they were the one… & that’s great! But not very common. There’s nothing wrong with getting to know someone before beginning a relationship. While yes, you DO learn a lot about someone when dating them, what’s wrong with knowing the basics about them BEFORE the commitment?

Maybe I’m too “picky”… But I’d rather be known as “picky” than someone who is constantly talking to someone new/in & out of relationships… & wavering, unstable & unhappy on my own. I LIKE being single. I LIKE being in a relationship… Either way, I really am happy… If someone comes in & sweeps me off my feet, that’s awesome. (: But I’m not looking for you… & I’m definitely not living to find you. I’ve got no voids to fill cause the Lord has filled those.

Let life be. Live each day with the mindset that it’s gonna be a great day & let that be enough. If it’s meant to happen, it will. Til then, relax & enjoy life for all it is. Your right person will come into your life on God’s time. Don’t keep jumping around in hopes of someone “clicking”… You’re unique & there’s something special about you… Stop giving that part away to all the wrong people & be patient for the right one. You’re not “too old” to find someone, there’s no time frame on love.