Double Texting

(PSA: Entirely written from a female-perspective since I’ve never been a male, yet have gathered they don’t always think as into things as most of us tend do… Or so I’ve experienced.)

 

You know what makes me laugh?

 
Dating.

I’m not talking about relationships… More so the stage before a relationship where you’re flirting with some cutie at the bar & swap numbers. & that’s the moment all the questions start popping in your head.
“Was he really as interested in me as he seemed?” “Should I text him first?” “Should I wait to get in touch with him?”
…”I bet he gives everyone his number.”
Anywho, you start chatting, things seem great, days worth of these easy back-and-forth convos… & then it happens…

HE. DOESN’T. RESPOND.

Great. So now you feel you’ve “lost” him (though in reality, you never really HAD him… Yet, at least).

 

You debate with yourself. “Do I double text? Do I let it go? Will he be in touch? If he doesn’t get in touch by 10PM tonight, should I reach out? But will I look desperate?!” You ask your friends, your mama, your sister, your friend’s second cousin’s former step brother’s girlfriend…

Honestly (& thankfully), I think I’ve only experienced anxiety about a guy not texting me back once, maybe twice, when I was like 16. Other than that, I’ve just always been around friends & randoms who’ve talked about it. But I DO remember the feeling.

 

 

(Looking back, I probably SHOULD have cared… Just a tiny bit more, at least. I’m absolutely sure I annoyed guys in the past [I’m guilty of having a hard time getting all my thoughts out in one text. Sometimes my wittiness decides to show itself 5 seconds post-initial text… & I just HAVE to say it cause I don’t know when I’ll be funny again]… But they annoyed me too by not responding! On the flip side, there were also several times when I was the one who didn’t respond. Early on, a double text is okay, but don’t quadruple it. That really is annoying. Calm yourself. I’ll respond… But maybe a little slower now since my phone won’t stop dinging & flashing your name… MOVING ON)…

Once you’re in a relationship, it’s a different story (especially when you’re approx. 4-6 months in). You’re feeling pretty secure, life is good, you’re super close to your S.O.

 
Being in an exclusive relationship gives you all the power in the world to double text, triple text, quadruple text, ETC!

If I’m chatting with my man & he stops responding (usually he’s either: working, sleeping, cooking, playing video games, hanging out with friends/family or showering—cause he’s obsessed with long showers, bless him)… I will text him 10 times, I don’t even care. What’s he gonna do? LEAVE me? Over the occasional excessive text?! Ha! HE LOVES ME. I can do whatever I want!!!!! –> (within reason) <—

& THAT, my friends, is power.

 

& sometimes my back-to-back texts to him won’t even be in regards to the same things. 😏

 

Again, flip side… I’m not clutching my phone in hopes he’ll promptly return my text & being anxiety ridden until he does, thinking of all the “stupid” things I just sent him. 84% of our conversations are stupid, I’m not really trying to “woo” him anymore… Doesn’t mean I don’t try to make sure our love stays strong, just that he knows & loves me enough to not leave me cause I send him two text messages in a row. I can’t help that when something funny or amazing happens, HE IS THE ONE I WANT TO TELL.

 

The beauty of relationships, people. Freedom of speech in abundance.

 

(I have ZERO advice in this post. Just really acknowledging the fact that if something were to ever happen & my fella & I split… I’d be screwed in the dating pool cause I have ZERO self control when it comes to holding back & strategically timed/spaced texts & conversations.)
Amen.

I Hate Venting,

but need to for just a minute (; …

 

It’s so common for people to constantly be searching & jumping into relationships with the mentality that every one has the potential to be your next “ONE”. While this isn’t a horrible mindset, my question is… Why? What’s the point of rushing this part of your life? As the saying goes, “you can’t be happy with anyone til you’re happy with yourself“… That doesn’t mean that once you’re happy with yourself to go searching… Just means when the time comes, you’ll be ready.

When people are constantly searching, all it says is they don’t feel complete without somebody… As if to say, “I’m using YOU to fill this void I have & if you don’t fill it for me, I’ll move on to the next one I find who can patch me up a little better…” Personally, I don’t believe that’s how “love”, or even dating, was intended to be.

For some reason, many friends/people come to me for relationship advice (probably partially cause I’m blunt–oops), and I think it’s cause I’m honest with them about how ridiculous some of their situations are. Settling should never be an option. “Hooking up” is not a way of life. Constantly searching & consuming yourself with finding a significant other only takes away from living YOUR life to the fullest. & I strongly believe that.

Some people say they know from the minute they met their spouse/significant other/etc that they were the one… & that’s great! But not very common. There’s nothing wrong with getting to know someone before beginning a relationship. While yes, you DO learn a lot about someone when dating them, what’s wrong with knowing the basics about them BEFORE the commitment?

Maybe I’m too “picky”… But I’d rather be known as “picky” than someone who is constantly talking to someone new/in & out of relationships… & wavering, unstable & unhappy on my own. I LIKE being single. I LIKE being in a relationship… Either way, I really am happy… If someone comes in & sweeps me off my feet, that’s awesome. (: But I’m not looking for you… & I’m definitely not living to find you. I’ve got no voids to fill cause the Lord has filled those.

Let life be. Live each day with the mindset that it’s gonna be a great day & let that be enough. If it’s meant to happen, it will. Til then, relax & enjoy life for all it is. Your right person will come into your life on God’s time. Don’t keep jumping around in hopes of someone “clicking”… You’re unique & there’s something special about you… Stop giving that part away to all the wrong people & be patient for the right one. You’re not “too old” to find someone, there’s no time frame on love.